Bhatt on butts

Was at Filmcity the other day, on the sets of Vishesh and Sony Films Raaz-2. Couldn't but help overhearing the irresistable Bhatt brothers reacting to a crew members quip about sexy Kareena in Tashan.

Mahesh and Mukesh think that YRF is the true inheritor of RK Films in its single mindedness to undress top-of-the-lines heroines. " People think we at make adult films because Emraan kisses his heroines on screen. But we are upfront about it and have no qualms in getting an A or a UA certificate. But look at what Yash Raj has done in the name of family entertainment? Tanisha was in an underwear and bra throughout in Neal 'N Nikki. Aishwariya Rai wore skimpy clothes in Dhoom 2 all under the name of fashion. Bipasha did a two-bit role to wear bikini in Dhoom2. And now Kareena Kapoor wore almost zero clothes to display her zero size figure in Tashan!, " the Bhatt brothers sarcastically remarked.

And finally when i was leaving, I heard this interesting nugget: whenever you hear the stars in a soon to be released film talking about their look and designer clothes, beware! It means the film has no story!

Genelia's second innings

You must be either lucky or persistent to make a successful comeback like Genelia D'Souza. Five years ago the Bandra girl and Ritesh Deshmukh made their debut with Tujhe Meri Kasam. The movie sank. She then did Masti --the movie rocketed Ritesh into fame but Bollywood ignored Genelia. Miffed she went to the south and did tremendously well for herself in Telugu, Tamil and Kannada films. Bommarillu (Telugu) was her biggest hit and its recent Tamil remake, Santosh Subramaniam, is also faring well.

Now Genelia's second Bollywood innings is being chartered out with careful thought. Next month she she makes her appearance in the sure shot hit Aamir Khan Production's Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na in which Aamir's nephew Imraan Khan makes his debut. In June, Genelia is back with Priyadarshan's Mere Baap Pehle Aap co-starring with Akshaye Khanna and Paresh Rawal. She is also playing the lead opposite Harman Baweja in Anees Bazmi's untitled project for Sanjay Kapoor. And I hear, Genelia and her southern compatriot Asin are amongst the two top contenders for being cast as the main lead in Vipul Shah's big ticket London Dreams. Not bad, eh?

Is YRF going the Factory way?

What's ailing Yash Raj Films? Critics and audiences are panning their latest release, Tashan. The film is high on hype and style but pathetically low on substance. Just like Jhoom Barabar Jhoom, Ta Ra Rum Pum, Laaga Chuneri Mein Daag and Aaja Nachley was.

YRF has access to the biggest stars. They have tons of money (which is why Yash & Aditya Chopra have refused private equity from Mukesh Ambani and investment bankers) . So then what is the problem?

If people who have worked with YRF are to be believed, the trouble lies solely with Aditya Chopra. He seems to have lost focus and objectivity. He is making movies like Ram Gopal Varma used to do during his infamous Factory days--sometimes based on a single USP (lets make a film showcasing Madhuri's return to India) or a promo (Amitabh Bachcan singing in a Johnny Depp costume in JBJ) or an idea (lets do a contemporary version of Aaina as LCMD). The bunch of writers that YRF has, save Jaideep Sahni, are too much in awe of Adi to suggest anything otherwise.

If you look at what's on the rest of YRF menu this year, there's no hope. Kunal Kohli's Thoda Pyar Thoda Magic, Sidharth Anand's Bachna Ai Haseeno offer only deja vu and nothing new. Roadside Romeo may work 'cos of its animation novelty factor. I pray Chopra's own Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi is not Cheeni Kum meets DDLJ.

Another reason for Chopra's loss of objectivity is the influence of Rani Mukherjee. Ram Gopal Varma made many films in the Factory that defied explanation. They were purely meant as ode to Antara Mali (Mr Ya Mrs) or Nisha Kothari (Go).

Is Rani Mukherjee Aditya Chopra's Antara Mali?

Vipul Shah's Bollywood record

Film-maker Vipul Amrutlal Shah is following the footsteps of his icon Dhirubhai Ambani, especially with regard to the profit mantra: Whatever you do, make it the biggest. Shah is not the one to bask in the glory of the tremendous industry response to his latest production, the Anees Bazmi-directed Singh is Kinng (whose distribution rights have been bought by The Indian Film Co for Rs 70 crore).

For his new venture London Dreams which Shah himself is directing, he has fixed a sale price of Rs 150 crore! While Sandeep Bhargava of IFC is choking on his coffee, newcomers Fox Films and Warner Brothers are rolling up their sleeves to sit across the table with Shah. What makes the deal alll the more lucrative for Shah is that unlike in Singh Is Kinng where he had to share sizeable profits with Akshay Kumar, he doesn't have to do so with Salman Khan and Ajay Devgan in London Dreams.

Shah is also going full throttle with his production plans to make big, medium and small budget films. He has signed up David Dhawan, Sanjay Khanduri (of Ek Chaalis Ki Last Local), and Pranali Shukla (wife of actor-director Saurabh Shukla) respectively.

Finally a name!

Thoda Pyar Thoda Magic. Yup that's, finally, the title for Kunal Kohli's film. The director's film, co-produced by Yash Raj Films, had been so far struggling to find an apt title. Mary Poppins, which serves as the inspiration for the film starring Saif Ali Khan, Rani Mukherjee and a bunch of kids, could hardly be an Indian title? So for a long time the film was just called Kunal Kohli Production No 1. Saif quipped that it was a nice way for Kunal to let people know that he was into production too.

But getting a name may hardly be the end of troubles for TPTM. Multiplex owner are not very enthusiatic about the film. They are not willing to share with YRF 50 and 45 per of revenues in the first two weeks respectively. Can't blame them considering that the last YRF film with Saif, Rani and a bunch of kids Ta Ra Rum Pum was a disaster at the box office.

Hritik-Bhansali team up?

Sanjay Leela Bhansali is going to do a film with Hritik Roshan. Both of them have been wanting to work with each other. Bhansali has two projects whose scripts have already been developed--Bajirao Mastani and Heera Mandi. The former is a film Bhansali wanted to do with Salman Khan and Ashwariya/Kareena but is now unsure of because it would be in the same genre as Jodha Akbar.

My source tells me Bhansali is keen to do Heera Mandi but trouble is Mahesh Bhatt is also planning a film on the same subject (Heera Mandi was a famous whorehouse in Lahore visited by top rung artistes, actors, and government officials).

Hritik is one of the few people who loved Saawairya because he paid heed to Rani Mukherjee's opening voice over in the film that "this story is not of this world", that the film is a fantasy. He admires Bhansali and has so much faith in him as a film maker that he is willing to say yes to a project even without reading a script.

But considering that Hritik starts shooting Anurag Basu's Kites next month and plans to start on the Krrish sequel later this year, the Bhansali project is unlikely to take off by year end.

Ek Kahaani

If Sanjay Gupta wants an original story he should just take a look at Neha Oberoi again. Gupta's White Feather Films is all set to release Woodstock Villa next month. The film directed by Hansal Mehta (who is also the CEO of White Feather Films) is to launch Sikander Kher and Neha.

Neha's father Dharam Oberoi and Sanjay Dutt are chaddi yaars, who know each other for many years. As we all know Sanjay Gupta joined the gang too and the three were thick friends (they were also board members of White Feather Films) till they fell out last year.

A little bird tells me that one of main reasons Dutt and Gupta fell out was because Oberoi spilled the beans and informed Baba of the financial dealings at White Feather. Gupta sacked Oberoi(Oberoi claims he quit). Some months later Dutt to publicly distanced himself from Gupta. Today Oberoi is the CEO of Sanjay Dutt Productions.

So what has all this to do with Neha Oberoi?

Consider this. You are being launched by a man who hates your father. Isn't that more original than any film story Gupta has directed so far?

Santoshi stories

In Bollywood you have to be a wonderful storyteller if you want to make a film. How well you narrate the story to a star often decides whether you can get him or her. If you were to do a poll amongst directors Raj Kumar Santoshi would be amongst the best narrators... now you know why he announces more projects than he actually makes them!

One apocryphal Santoshi incident is the manner in which he narrated the Khaaki role to Tushar Kapoor. When Tushar left Santoshi's office his chest was puffed up. He believed he was the hero of the film. His heart sank when he saw the trial show---but the role is still one of his best. Ashwariya Rai too was maha-thrilled when she heard the narration; but all that evaporated a couple of days into the shooting. Like the rest of her parivaar, she avoids working with Santoshi now.

A friend of mine who once worked with Santoshi says the director's stamina for narration is amazing. He once saw him narrate to an actor for two hours, hop in his vehicle and narrate another film to another actor for almost an hour on his mobile, and reach his office and narrate yet film to another actor!

But my favourite Santoshi story is of the storyteller at the recieving end. When he announced the Legend of Bhagat Singh, Piyush Mishra a well known theatre actor and writer (who has also acted in Dil Se, Maqbool and Jhoom Barabar Jhoom) was furious. Piyush, who knew Santoshi well, had written a play on Bhagat Singh and had heard he was not getting writing credits. So he had a couple of drinks, barged into Santoshi's home, poured kerosene on himself from his rum bottle and threatened to light himself.

It was the best narration Santoshi got. He promptly gave Piyush the writer's credit.

Phoonk De, RGV

Ram Gopal Varma is an enigma wrapped in a riddle. For a man who has given 10 flops after his last hit Sarkar, you would expect him to be doubly careful of not repeating his mistakes. After all, if you see the trailer of Sarkar Raj and listen to industry reports, he has struck gold once again! But trust Ramu to repeat his mistakes. He is adamant on making quickies.

He has wrapped up Contract which a source tells me looks like a poor man's version of Company. He is currently shooting Phoonk at Filmcity. It's a horror film about black magic and features newcomers Amruta Subash (a Marathi stage actor), Sudeep (Kannada actor), Lilette Dubey and Zakir Hussain . For the first time RGV is working with a woman cinematographer - Savita Singh, a fresh graduate from the FTII.

Both these films are likely to erode RGV's market value. So why does the eccentric director commit harakiri? "In the morning if I get very excited by an idea, I want to finish making the film by the night. I don't want to wait for stars and their dates!" Ramu once said.

Now if only the audience were excited too.

Why Ramadoss loves our stars

"Actors eat chips and get heart attacks." Health Minister Anmbumani Ramadoss knows exactly what he is doing when he took a shot at Saif Ali Khan and the junk food manufacturers. By taking digs at well -known film stars for public issues the minister is only proving how well he has learnt the art of making news from his father, the late Dr S Ramadoss.

Ramadoss Senior had founded the PMK party in Tamil with the Vanniar community forming his main support base. When there were rumours that Rajnikanth was to join politics, Ramadoss Sr decided to make everybody take notice of him. Just a couple of days before Rajnikanth's film Baba was to hit the theatres in 2002, Ramadoss asked his supporters and the media, "One actor here has made crores and crores in Tamil cinema. What has he given to the state in return?" Interesting, isn't it, that six years later it is exactly the question Raj Thackeray has raised about Amitabh Bachchan.

Ramadoss has already taken on Shahrukh Khan and Amitabh Bachchan over the issue of smoking in films and in public respectively. Whether you agree or not with the Health Minister, this much we should grant him. He does know how to garner TRPs for public issues and himself!

Just desserts for Roshan

The best place to get gossip in Bollywood is from spot boys, make up artists and the technical crew. As soon as news of the Roshans doling out Rs 2 crore to Ram Sampath for the Krazzy4 song came in, the unanimous declaration in Filmcity was that God indeed exists! After all, the tight fisted Rakesh Roshan had to pay up.

Here are just three of Roshan's famous miserly acts. During the filming of Koil Mil Gaya he ate bread butter sandwich for almost 30 days at a stretch. It goes without the saying that the rest of the suffering crew also had to eat variations of the sandwich for the entire period.

During Krrish the Hongkong team of stunt choreaographer Siu Tung Shing were budgeted for special mountaineering boots, winterwear and a ready supply of diet colas. The Indian technical crew had to manage with their own Mumbai wear. And yes they were served only chai or nimbu paani.

At the end of the Krrish schedule in Singapore, Roshan decided to treat his cast to a special dinner. Actors found themselves arriving at a cheap diner joint. Hritik arrived, shook his disapprovingly about dad being the eternal miser, and took the cast to a different restaurant.

Yashraj's next hot one?

Was at the Yashraj canteen the other day. A bunch of proud assitant directors were having cappuccino and chuckling about how YRF manages to make even the top most heroines wear skimpy or revealing clothes and do item numbers-- Ashwariya in Bunty Aur Babli and Dhoom2, Bipasha in Dhoom2, and now Kareena in Tashan.

But the buzz around the table was unanimous on who would be the next hot thing. It is going to be Sherlyn Chopra. Though the lady is in no way related to the bosses, Yash Chopra it seems sees a lot of promise in her especially after her, gulp, performance in Vinod Pande's dud Red Swastik. And that is why she has been pencilled for a sizeable role in a YRF project to be directed by Anurag Singh featuring Shahid Kapoor and Rani Mukherji.

Sherlyn, who used to be called Mona earlier, in her resume has titled herself the "Queen of Internet" with maximum maximum no of clicks and downloads. The boys at YRF are working hard to change her image to an "upmarket hot girl." As one of them quipped, "All it needs for Sherlyn is to be part of one hit Yash Raj film. She can be the next Katrina Kaif or Mallika Sherawat."

Oh, boy.

RK banner wakes up

Its finally happening. The once prestigious RK banner, launched by Raj Kapoor, is coming out of its hibernation. Almost ten years after the disastrous Aa Ab Laut Chalen (directed by Rishi Kapoor, featuring Akshaye Khanna, Ashwariya Rai and Rajesh Khanna), the Kapoor khandaan is now getting its act together.

A little bird from Chembur tells me that the film, likely to go on the floor later this year, will feature Rishi and Ranbir Kapoor and Deepika also. Kapoor Senior had come across a story which excited him. When Ranbir heard the narration he loved it too. A few days ago the board members of RK Films unofficially gave their approval to produce it. A director has to be yet found.

This would be the first of the two RK films to roll. Randhir Kapoor is also drawing up plans to launch a film starring daughter Kareena. But his script is not yet ready.

Bollywood loves piracy

All this talk about piracy being a threat to Bollywood is hogwash. It strives on it.

Let me explain. What is piracy? It is making copies of the original material and selling them illegally, right? And what are producers, directors and music directors in Bollywood doing?

Abbas Mastan's Race, like almost all his previous films, is a Hollywood rip off (remember: the word rip is also used to copy CDs/DVDs). Shaurya rips off A Few Good Men (and the makers have the gall to carry a full page ad claiming good reviews). There is an old play called Mera Dost Bhootnath. U, Me Aur Hum rips off The Notebook. Priyadarshan copies films already made in Malayalam or Tamil. Last year's big hit Partner is the Bollywood version of The Hitch. David Dhawan's next is a copy of The Valet.... get the picture, don't you?

On the music front, Pritam who is considered to be the hottest music director rips off most of his chartbusters (check out the site http://www.itwofs.com/).

So why don't the biggies in Bollywood just shut up and say we love piracy! Why do the studios shed crocodile tears over the losses of their latest releases to piracy when their balance sheet actually benefits from it?

Aamir's Delhi Belly

Aamir Khan's ability to run into troubled waters with his directors continues. While news of how he and Abbas Tyrewalla are locking horns over the edit of Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na is now floating about, the latest is that his other project Delhi Belly which was to start shoot in May has now been postponed to August.

Aamir himself had mentioned that Delhi Belly was to be directed by Robert Nylund, a young chap from Sweden. The casting of the film which features mostly newcomers and theatre actors is almost complete. A birdie from AK Production tells me that Nylund (poor chap would have a tough time anyway in Bollywood with such a name!) and Aamir have now parted ways. Aamir is yet to decide on who will direct the film.

Going by the Amol Gupte/Taare Zameen Par experience, will Aamir do it himself? Will it be Kiran Rao's debut? Or will it be some newcomer? Whoever it is should be ready to stomach Aamir more than a Delhi Belly.

Enter filmi fundamentalism

As the dates of the assembly and general elections approach nearer you will find politics playing an increasing part in creating fissures within the film industry. Karnataka goes to polls in May and that is why tempers have been lost over the Tamil Nadu's decision to go ahead with the Hogenakal water project. Which was fine until pro-Kannada supporters decide to stop screening of Tamil films in Karnataka. And now the Tamil film industry is retaliating with Rajnikanth also joining a protest fast.

The irony is that Rajnikanth is a Maharastrian brought up in Karnataka who became a super star in Tamil Nadu. Tamil Nadu's other icon MGR was born in Kerala. With politics increasingly rearing its head are we soon going to see days where a Kannada actor or technician cannot work on a Tamil film, a Tamil musician cannot compose for a Telegu flick, a Hyderabad studio will be banned from hosting a Malayalam crew....?

Elections will take place in Maharashtra by the year end. Should we be ready for Raj Thackeray's MNS ranting about why people from Bihar and UP should not be allowed to work in Bollywood? Will theatres get ransacked in Nashik and Ranchi?

I hope not. The film industry should clearly see that politicians will play the villain. And it should start doing its homework right away to to see that it is not taken for a ride.

Is Naseer right?

Love him or hate him. But you can't ignore what Naseerudin Shah, one of our finest actors, has to say. Take, for instance, these gems from an interview to DNA.

"I’m utterly bored of acting. I’ve completely given up hope about a decent film being made in the film industry. I don’t think Chak De India or Taare Zameen Par are great films. They are average. We are light years way from international standards. See a film like The Lives of Others and we send a film like Black to compete with it at the Oscars.

We should be ashamed of ourselves. It’s like the famous story of the late Sohrab Modi (I don’t mean to run him down, he was a great filmmaker). He got a German cameraman to shoot his film Jhansi Ki Rani with an army of 10,000 people. He turned around to the cameraman and asked, ‘What do you think of the spectacle?’ He replied, ‘The spectacle is all fine but where is the drama?’

Armed forces: a taboo topic

I have my fingers crossed about Shaurya. Recent Bollywood films about armed forces have been pathetic. They are either jingoistic like Border or a pain in the ass like Ab Tumhare Hawale Watan Saathiyon. The only films I have liked are Chetan Anand's Haqeeqat, Gulzar's Achaanak, and Nana Patekar's Prahaar.

Our film makers mistakenly think that making films critical of our armed forces will be an unpatriotic thing to do. The other problem is that our censors are myopic. Can you think of a Bollywood film that would tackle an issue of how soldiers become inhuman after prolonged military operations (I personally know of friends who have become social misfits after their anti-insurgency stint in J&K), like Paul Haggis' showcased In the Valley of Elah? Ridley Scott's American Gangster showed how the army was used as a conduit to ship in drugs. Will the censors have the courage and wisdom to pass a similar Bollywood film?

Samar Khan's Shaurya is supposed to be a desi version of A Few Good Men. I hope it is a sensible film and nothing like Khan's disastrous Kuch Meetha Ho Jaye.