Is Yash Chopra serious?

“The Indian audience today is too intelligent to be fooled by just glitzy packaging. I strongly feel that films are made by stories and not by stars, technicians, directors or producers. And that is why this blind spot in Indian cinema needs to be overcome soon”

Guess who said that last weekend? I bet you didn't answer Yash Chopra! But, surprise suprise, it was the old doyen himself while accepting the 'Officer de la Legion d'Honneur'-- the highest French civilian award last week .

Is Yash Chopra serious? If he does think that films are made by stories and not by stars, technicians, directors or producer, then how does he explain Jhoom Barabar Jhoom, Aaja Nachle,Ta Ra Rum Pum , Laaga Chuneri Mein Daag, Tashan, and now Thoda Pyaar Thoda Magic?

I find it hard to believe that the man who made Waqt, Deewar, Trishul, Kaala Pathar, Kabhi Kabhi, Chandini, Silsila, Dil To Pagal Hai could churn out these recent duds.

I can think of only three reasons why he would do so. One, he thought that the YRF current duds were actually good scripts. Two, he thought they were bad but was overruled by Aditya Chopra. Three, Chopra was joking at the award ceremony.

The last seems most likely. Here is Chopra again at the French ceremony.

''There is intellectual bankruptcy in Indian films.... I get a bad story, I make a bad film,'' he said, laughingly.

Should we laugh too?

Stupid promos

Am I stupid or what? Can anyone please explain why do the first couple of promos of most of the new releases feature a dance or a song?

I can understand if the film is a musical. Or if its a montage of scenes which a song nicely highlights. But a dance? I mean would I go to watch Govinda because of that inane dance number in Money Hai to Honey Hai or because the film is funny? Mission Istanbul is an action thriller about international terrorism and what do I see? A love song or a rap number with Zayed Khan and Viveik Oberoi jiving, with some random explosions throw in between!

I can understand the rationale of the Kabhi Kabhi Aditi song promo of Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na-- it gave me a glimpse of a relationship between a bunch of collegians. I was glued to the promo because most of the cast was newcomers (yes, it is a lovely A R Rahman song too). But I wouldnt have cared for it if the promo featured SRK, Rani Mukherji and a whole bunch of NRIs.

This why the Bachna Ae Haseeno promo does not work for me. To me it looks like a long commercial of a deo. Else, why the hell does everyone in the film stretch their arms and sing? Just because SRK did it in DDLJ, you think its going to be lucky for Yash Raj Films again?

How a hero is made!

This apocryphal story, courtesy a well-known filmmaker, is a wonderful example of how bruised egos and coincidences make a Bollywood hero.

Almost two years ago, Adlabs owner Manmohan Shetty went to meet Shahruh Khan at Mannat. Shetty's car was stopped outside the gate and not let in 'cos just a day ago SRK's pup had been run over by a guest's vehicle while driving up the portico. SRK had lambasted the security chaps. Next day thanks to the overenthuasistic guards, Shetty, flush with funds from the Reliance investment, had to wait for almost twenty minutes outside the gates of Mannat. He was fuming would be an understatement.

When Shetty returned to the Adlabs office, Harry Baweja was waiting to meet him--to see if Adlabs would finance Love Story 2050, Baweja's launch vehicle for son Harman. Shetty said yes and okayed a budget of 30 crores--unheard in Bollywood for launching a newcomer.

Shetty's backing of Love Story 2050 had a ripple effect. Another producer stepped forward and announced a 25 crore project with Harman in the lead. Others followed, each upping their project cost. Financially Shetty's gamble had paid off 'cos everybody other producer thought, and they still do, that its okay to do a 30 crore Harman film.

Love Story 2050 has bombed.

And Bollywood has a new star.

The good and the bad

The good thing about the coming Friday is that it will usher in two young heroes. While audiences have something more to choose from, it is producers and directors who stand to gain the most. Until a year ago, Bollywood was starved of fresh faces. If you had to cast a young male as hero, there was hardly anyone you could approach except Shahid Kapoor. Then Ranbir Kapoor and Neil Nitin Mukesh made their appearances. A fortnight ago Rajeev Khandelwal proved his mettle. And now there is Imran Khan and Harman Baweja. But as Shekar Kapur remarked about Ranbir's Saawariya debut, Imran and Harman are already stars-- they have been signed up for multi films even before they have made their debut.

The bad thing about this Friday is that it once again underlines how nepotism rules in Bollywood. Save for Rajeev Khandelwal's debut, the message for struggling actors trying to get an entry into Bollywood remains the same: If you don't have a relative or a Godfather to back you, there's very little hope for a newcomer to make a debut as a hero in an A grade production.

Aamir's rare appearance

Do you remember the last time you saw a film that had Aamir Khan doing a special appearance cameo? Well he has done it for Farhan Akhtar. Last week, Aamir dropped in for a quick shoot at Cinevista Studios in Mumbai's suburbs. He is doing a cameo in Zoya Akhtar's Luck by Chance and, if my sources are right, plays himself on screen too.

Farhan is trying to rope in as many stars as he can for cameos. Incidentally, Hrithik Roshan has also done a cameo in Luck By Chance. Don't be surprised if Shah Rukh Khan and Amitabh Bachchan also do one, apart from other Bollywood stars. Do we see Zoya becoming the next Farha Khan?

Luck by Chance is a story of a struggling actor who comes to Mumbai from New Delhi. Farhan plays the lead, supported by Konkana Sen, Rishi Kapoor, Dimple Kapadia and Juhi Chawla.

Post Dil Chahta Hai and Lakshya, Farhan has been trying to rope in Aamir, Hrithik and Saif for his films. But he has no luck so far. Aamir had refused the Don remake. Hrithik and Saif have both refused both Luck By Chance and Voice From The Sky.

Jackie Chan in Sholay?

Jackie Chan's Indian connection is not limited to just a disappointing myth (remember the film?) Came across two titbits about the international actor that almost knocked me off my chair...

Firstly, the producer of Kamal Hasan's Dasavathaaram Aaskar Ravichandran , who has been distributing Chan's films in India, hopes to rope in the star for an ambitious project. Aaskar (a friend tells me he used to write his name Oscar earlier but changed it since there is no letter O in Tamil!) is planning an action comedy. Chan it seems has okayed the script. The estimated project cost --$ 150 million or approx Rs 650 crores! How the hell does one arrive at figures like that? And how do you recoup that investment? I guess Aaskar will make it in Mandarin, English, Hindi and Tamil..

The second bit about Jackie is more hilarious than any of his flicks. Ram Gopal Varma in his blog mentions how he was called some years ago by Sasha Sippy (grandson of Sholay producer GP Sippy). Sasha wanted a Sholay sequel wherein the son of Gabbar and Helen (duh, flashback cut to a romp after the Mehbooba song?) comes back to kill Veeru and Basanti's sons. Seems Sasha wanted Jackie Chan to be in the film too. Ramu says he came out of the meeting laughing. After RGV remade Sholay as Ram Gopal Varma Ki Aag, Sasha couldn't stop laughing.

Maybe Aaskar Ravichandran and Sasha Sippy should have a drink together. I can clearly picturise Jackie Chan laughing!

"When you have Hritik, why do you want me?"

Rajeev Khandelwal's success story with Aamir is now a beacon for scores of television actors in Mumbai that they too can make it in Bollywood. One struggling actor with whom I had coffee recently had some interesting nuggets about Rajeev.

Almost eight years ago, Rajeev's parents were very upset about their son's decision to take up acting. His father, an army officer, in true filmy style told his son to choose between home or acting. Rajeev left home and stayed with friends. He then started making corporate films and came to Mumbai with the proverbial single suitcase. He shared accomadation with drivers and workmen. And then got his break first with some commercials and then with Ekta Kapoor.

The interesting thing is that a couple of years ago Rajeev a successful TV star, bought a Honda CRV, drove to to Jaipur and showed it off to his father. Last heard the son-parent relationship was healing well.

The other interesting nugget is that Rajeev was also called by Farhan Akhtar when Lakshya was being cast. He asked Farhan, " When you have Hritik Roshan, why do you want me?"

Lastly, even though Rajeev had earned a reputation as the romantic Sujal from his TV serial, he has several times confessed to his close friends, "I will commit to a relationship only when I have achieved my ambition of making it big in films."

Good to see someone having so much self-confidence despite the early insecurities in life and profession.

Shilpa's Angels

If Bollywood Whisper were a TV channel we should have been screaming Breaking News. Anyway here it is. Shilpa Shetty's home production is all set to roll with their debut film. The untitled venture will feature Shilpa Shetty, Bipasha Basu and Shamita Shetty and is said to be fun-filled girlie action flick, a la Charlie's Angels. There are whispers that Shilpa is thinking of asking her one time good buddy Akshay Kumar to put in a guest appearance.The film will be directed by Manish Jha and is likely to be co-produced by UTV.

For Jha this is going to be a completely different cup of tea. He had earlier made the critically acclaimed A Very Very Silent Film, and then Mathrubhoomi. His last film Anwar didn't do well. Jha also directed Shilpa recent yoga video. Hope he has learnt how to hold his breath when making a masala film.

Bipasha has three releases coming up. There’s the experimental Sudipto Chattopadhyay's Pankh (produced by Sanjay Gupta), Sidharth Anand’s Bachna Ae Haseeno (Yash Raj Films) and Freeze with Neil Nitin Mukhesh.

Shamita's last film was Anubhav Sinha's Cash which sadly bounced. Much like Uday Chopra her career hasn't taken off yet. That is one of the reason why Shilpa is playing the angel and launching a production company.

De taali for Abbas?

After being knocked out by viral fever, I was getting ready to get back to work when my doctor, a pucca film buff, bowled a googly. "Is it the same Abbas Tyrewala, the writer-director of Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na, who has also written De Taali releasing this week?"

Did some home work and discovered my doc is right. But then why isn't Abbas or any of the people associated with De Taali talking about it during their publicity interviews? Strangely even the official website (www. detaalithemovie.com) doesn't credit Abbas as the writer.

Abbas has written some marvelous screenplays (Maqbool) and dialogue (Munnabhai MBBS, Main Hoon Na, Welcome). He also contributed to films such as Asoka, Chupke Se, Salaam Namaste and Shikar.

I hope De Taali turns out to be a fun film. And not a film Abbas wrote to earn a livelihood just like Anurag Kashyap did with Shakalaka Boom Boom.

Enter Sarkar Rani

After Sarkar Raj what? Well, just like the Godfather series , Ram Gopal Varma and the Bachchans are going to have a trilogy on the Sarkar theme. A little bird that visited Pyramid (RGV's apartment in Versova) tells me that the film maker and even the B family is very kicked about the idea.

While a proper screenplay has yet to be worked upon RGV has got the key players excited about two central concepts. One that Aishwariya Rai will be the protagonist of this film--Sarkar's bahu runs the Raj! And two that Jaya Bachchan will also make a dramatic entry in the finale.

And don't be surprised if the company that produces this film also makes news-- BCL or the Bachchans Corporation Ltd.

Struggler's shot: "Whom should i assist?"

Rachna_08 says: "Hi, came across your blog last week. Nice to see you are not talking about who is seeing whom! Have finished my Mass Comm and am passionate about Hindi films. Would like to learn direction 'cos i want to eventually direct a film. Which director do you suggest I start my career with assisting? Can you help with their contacts pls? And if I am not asking too much, how much do ADs get paid? Thanx."

Hi, Rachna, nice to know you like Bollywood Whisper. If you are passionate about films, then you must also have a fair idea of what kind of films you like and who your favourite directors are? I suggest you approach them to start with-- check out their office location and try meeting the Chief AD, First AD or Exec Producer if you can't meet the Director. If a director has 5 ADs it is likely that a newcomer stands a chance to be the 5th AD.

My suggestion is for your first film assist a lesser known or a debutant director-- its the best way to learn and the experience will come in handy when you approach your favourite director. Women ADs--and I am not endorsing this-- usually start off as those looking at prop continuity or costume assistants.

As for contacts, sorry don't want this blog to be a telephone directory. There are trade publications like Screen World which have the contact details; you can pick up them up from any bookshop. A fresh AD gets paid anywhere between 3000 to 7000 per month depending on whom you work for. Of course there are still creeps who don't pay anything. All the best.

Highest paid writer?

It's not just actors and directors who are raking in the moolah in Bollywood. Writers (hallelujah finally!) are licking cream too. Remember Shibani Bhatija, the one who wrote the commercial blockbusters but critically panned Fanaa and Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna? Well, she has become the first writer to crack a multi crore deal. Shibani has been signed up by Indian Film Co (aka Studio 18) for a three film deal for an amount Rs 2.25 crores! The movies will be written over a two year period.

Bhatija is often seen grinning ear to ear these days, flying business class to LA (where she is penning friend Karan Johar's Khan). Her next release is Sanjay Gadhvi's Kidnap.

When a blockbuster director-producer heard the amount Shibani has been signed he almost choked over his coffee. He then called up another corporate and found out that the reason writers like Shibani are being offered such high amount is because it boosts valuation of a project. Instead of paying a writer 30 lakh to make a 25 crore project, it is better to pay 90 lakh and transform it into a 60 cr project!

Lets hope the bubble doesn't burst soon!

Copy quick, release quicker

These days if you make a film, you better release it fast. That's the lesson director Navneet Baj Saini (Mickey) and his producer Irfan Kamal have realised. The duo had almost finished their venture Teesri Manzil (later, ironically, changed to Bank of Blues) starring Irrfan Khan, Deepal Shaw, Ranvir Sheorey and Lucky Ali. But the film was stuck 'cos Irrfan Khan had become a star and refused to allocate dates for dubbing-- an issue over which the producer was threatening to drag the actor to the industry associations. Irffan was pissed that he had not been told that the film was a copy of a South Korean film...

Now the producer and director are all the more upset. It seems Woodstock Villa directed by Hansal Mehta and produced by Sanjay Gupta which releases this week has a similar storyline!(never knew Korean films could be so inspiring!) If Sikhander Kher's launch pad works at the theatres, then its bad news for Messrs Mickey, Khan & Khan. If it doesn't.... oh well, then we can all check out the Korean film!

Struggler's Shot: "How do I sell my spec script?"

Karthik P asks:

Hi David, since you have your ear to the studio floor, need some insider gyan :-) Am a wordsmith with an ad agency. Have written a spec script. How do I sell it? Or if that sounds too greedy how do I see that it gets made into a film? Which studios are spec friendly? Or should I try waiting outside vanity vans trying to catch a star's attention? Mucho gracias.


Karthik, your spec script stands as much a chance being made into a film as wannabe director's dvd showreels that are stacked up in advertising agencies! Jokes aside, everybody in Bollywood wants a good script. Trouble is no one knows for sure what is a good script. I don't know any studio which even knows how to cope with a query letter.

YRF usually asks writers to drop scripts at the gates. Considering the films they are making I am sure they haven't read any of the scripts dropped! UTV claims to be sitting on a huge backlog-- which in plain speak means if a well known director or actor comes in with the script they will love it. Subhash Ghai's Mukta made a one crore offer for a script but then how much would you really pay for the script of Black And White? Studio 18, PNC, Percept, Eros, Big Motion Pictures... when was the last time you saw a film actually produced by them and not bought for distribution?

Of course if you know a studio hotshot you stand a better chance for the creative team to go thru your script. As for their usual reactions, it deserves another long blog post.

The best shot for your script? Identify a director who makes a film similar to the genre of your spec script. Don't go with a love story to RGV or a thriller to Rakesh Roshan. Try out the newer bunch of directors like Sriram Raghavan, Dibakar Banerjee, Anurag Basu, Balki., Madhur Bhandarkar.. you may get lucky.

You are blessed if you know a star actor.

PS: Many a times even if you have a bound copy you will have to narrate your script. This is often because most actors and directors cannot read. And some of the smarter ones don't want to-- they are in a "safe zone" if they have just heard you out than actually receiving a hard copy!All the best.

Producer with balls

Jhamu Sughand who passed away today was a producer with balls. Unlike most producers he was not a "proposal" film-maker-- one who would look at the box office returns of the cast or the director and then greenlight a project. Most of the films Jhamu financed, he did so on the basis of the passion of the director and his gut feeling for the story.

When Ram Gopal Varma was struggling to make his entry into Bollywood it was Jhamu who stepped in and financed Rangeela. Being a shy man Jhamu valued working relationships. That is why he often bailed out RGV, even though he was never officially credited for it. During Rangeela, Jhamu also got to know Aamir Khan. Which is why even though RGV and Aamir fell apart, Jhamu chipped in when Aamir told him about the film Earth which Deepa Mehta was making. And yes, Lagaan would not have happened if Jhamu had not put in his money and trust in Aamir. How many current day corporates would fund a period film in which characters mostly spoke in Awadhi and where a motley group of villagers beat an English team in cricket? Not to forget directed by a man who had given three flops

Jhamu operated like a true blood venture capitalist. The profit sharing model he worked out with an intense broooding filmmaker in 1998 is a fine example of what studios and corporates have to follow today. Jhamu gave the film maker a measly fee of Rs 15 lakhs and assured him that if the film made a profit he would share a sizeable portion of it. The movie recovered its cost in the theatres but earned crores in proft because of its re-run on television. The film? Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam. Director Sanjay Leela Bhansali became a crorepati thanks to Jhamu's profit sharing model.

As a financier sometimes Jhamu's investment were bang on-- Kamal Hasan's Chaachi 420. Sometimes the film didn't yield box office returns but instead introduced fine talent-- Rakyesh Mehra (Aks) and Meghna Gulzar (Filhaal).

Sadly, it was Jhamu's unofficial finance lending to the film industry that backfired on him. Facing a crunch, he started projects, including a clutch of Bengali films, but was not able to complete them-- Sriram Raghavan's Johnny Gadaar and Abbas Tyrewala's Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na.

But there is a saying in Bollywood which has been proved often true. Jhamu jiske upar haath rakha, uski to life ban gayi!

Sanjay Dutt's blues

Shree Astavinayak's Blue was being touted as one of the costliest films to go on floor. Going by the problems it is facing it might actually be, thanks to US consul officials. A little bird from Breach Candy, where the Consul office is, tells me that Sanjay Dutt's application for visa has been rejected. Sanjay was to go to Bahamas for the shoot and then later visit the States to introduce wife Manyata to daughter Trishala. Last month the Supreme Court had given him permission to travel abroad.

Blue being directed by debutant Tony has a huge cast of Sanjay, Akshay Kumar, Lara Dutta, Katrina Kaif, Zayed Khan, and Suneil Shetty and is budgeted at approx 70 crores. The film is an action thriller with a large portion of it to be shot in Bahamas. Over the past three months, all the main cast have already been trained in deep sea diving. Sanjay had also hired the services of Lawrence, a physical trainer from Los Angeles, for developing an 8 pack (abs muscles, not cigarettes). If the producers can't shoot in Bahamas they may have to shift the action to Thailand. But with IIFA being held there, rooms are tough to find till June 2nd week. And yes, juggling Akshay Kumar's dates is making the producers go blue and red.

One concept, three films!

Despite the blatant DVD rip offs in Bollywood sometimes you have to accept that not every film is a copy and that different people can think of the same idea.

For example, the concept of a moneylender (or a recovery agent) who has change of heart.

A friend tells me that in Kerala two films are releasing on July 18 with the same concept featuring the two warring stars Mohanlal and Mamooty. In Madambi, Mohanlal plays a kind hearted money lender in a village who knows how to get his interest and principal amount back using the right pressure technique. In Parinthu, Mamooty is a ruthless moneylender for whom money is ultimate thing in life. He uses all dirty and crude tricks to get his interest and principal back from his creditors.

In the same month Bollywood is lining up EMI for release. Its storyline? Sanjay Dutt plays a ruthless recovery agent for a loan company who has a change of heart when he sees how the middle class is struggling to realise their dreams.

Imagine the mudslinging if two films featuring any of the Khans or the Bachchans with the same concept were releasing on the same day!

Strugglers Shot: "I am worried about Saif"

Hi folks, apologies for disappearing last week. Thank you for your wonderful response to the Strugglers Shot feature. Let me start it with a query from Viv.

"I have enjoyed reading your blog. Thanks again. You are very neutral compared to some of the so-called journalists or insiders. Some of them are so biased and vindictive.

I am a huge fan of Saif Ali Khan. I am very concerned about him and his career right now. Personally I think Tashan and Kareena Kapoor are two huge mistakes in his life. Just wondering if you have any insider information about him ? Now that he is out of Voices from the Sky, is he going to be working on another movie after Imtiaz Ali's movie ? Also if there is a way to get in touch with him. I have a forum on Saif and all the true Saif fans are very worried.

Thanks for the insider info on Agent Vinod a while back. I hope it will still go ahead because I think Saif and Sriram will be brilliant. Please let me know if there is any update. There was a rumour that Sriram would be kicked out and the movie may be shelved." Viv

Thanks, Viv. Saif starts on Imtiaz Ali's film, which he is also producing, in the first week of June. His costar is Deepika Padukone. In the midst of it he comes back and promotes Kunal Kohli-YRF's Thoda Pyar Thoda Magic. In October he starts on Rensil D'Silva film for Dharma Productions alongwith Kareena and Viveik. That is expected to go on till Feb.

Sriram and Saif''s eagerly awaited Agent Vinod (produced by Saif) is very much on but will start only post March 2009. That is because Sriram hopes to start his film Dreamgirl starring Ashwariya Rai and John Abraham in Oct.

Saif is also waiting for the script of another home production, Homi Adjani's Thugi, to be ready. He also plans to shoot for and produce Anurag Kashyap's once derailed Alwyn Kallicharan. The buzz is that Saif wants to act only in films that he can produce, except of course its a film with YRF, or Vidhu Vinod Chopra, or Abbas Mastan or... you get the drift?

As for his contact nos and email ID sorry can't disclose those. But, yes, the office of Illumati Films (which he owns with partner Dinesh Vijen) is just around the corner of the popular Bandra bite with the same name :-)

Vijay Tendulkar: He said, he wrote

Vijay Tendulkar, who passed away, is the original angry young man. The man who wrote Aakrosh and Ardh Satya and one of the finest Indian playwrights had this to say in an interview with The Outlook.

“It's good that I don't have weapons and no one gives me any but yes, if I had a gun, I would still put it to Narendra Modi's head. He's a butcher. But everyone has conveniently forgotten that; he has become the poster boy and is considered the future president of his party. Same goes for Bal Thackeray. People give them respect, national importance, touch their feet. It makes my blood boil. Are we totally without a conscience?”

Can you name one current Bollywood screenplay writer of substance who can afford to make a statement like this?

When Dev Anand dined with Anil Ambani

These days when you hear of Reliance Big Entertainment Ltd's mammoth plans you can't but chuckle at Dev Anand's attitude. Some moons ago, the Anil Ambani company had its set its eye on Anand studios-- the once booming recording and dubbing owned by Dev Anand set in the prestigious Union Park area in Bandra. But they realised that the evergreen actor director was not biting. So one night Anil Ambani invited Dev Anand for dinner. Just before dinner as they were chatting, Ambani in his grand style gave a cheque to Devsaab. "Whats this?" the actor asked puzzled. "Its a blank cheque for your studio. Put a figure you wish for it," replied the tycoon.

Dev Anand pondered for a moment and quipped in his inimitable style " Anil, if you want to invest put money in the films I produce. Anand studio is not, and will never be, for sale!"

As Ambani looked on perplexed, Dev Anand swaggered out of Ambani's residence without eating dinner.

Every Jackie has his day!

Sometimes real life stories are more fascinating than reel ones. Take the case of Jaikishen Kakubhai Shroff, whom we know as Jackie. From being broke in a chawl in Teen Batti to being broke in a posh Bandra apartment, Jackie has seen it all. His 150-odd films have brought him both fame and ignominy, love and pity. The past few years have been really bad-- his home productions have lost money or have been struck, thanks to whimsical decisions taken by him and his wife Ayesha. It was whispered that Jackie was living on borrowed money.

All that is now going to change. Jackie is now richer by more than Rs 200 crores! His decade old investment in Sony Entertainment Television India (now called Multi Screen Media) has finally stuck gold. Jackie alongwith four other Indian investors have now sold their 32 per cent holdings to B K Modi's MCorp Global has for $320 million.

What will Jackie Shroff now do with the moolah? As they say in Bollywood, film ab bhi baaki hai, mere dost!

Chale chalo Disney

Satyajit Bhatkal, the man who made a documentary and wrote a book on the making of Lagaan, is all set to direct Walt Disney's first Indian live action film. Bhatkal is writing and directing his debut feature tentatively titled Zokkomon. While the cast is yet to be finalised, the film is expected to go to the floors in November this year.

Disney will make its Indian debut with an animation film Roadside Romeo that it is co-producing with Yash Raj Films. But Bhatkal's Zokkomon will be its live action debut-- meaning the film will use real actors and a fair deal of special effects.

The soft spoken Bhatkal is a former lawyer and was cajoled by his pal Aamir Khan to jump into films. Post his Lagaan stint, he wrote and directed a television serial titled Bombay Lawyers that was telecast by NDTV 24x7. More than the serial what made news was that this was the first time a news channel was telecasting fiction. Or maybe Samir Nair, CEO of NDTV's Imagine, did not find it good enough to be part of the fiction channel test launch. Whatever the reason Bhatkal is not complaining.

Pritish Nandy: behind the headlines

Pritish Nandy is in the news for two reasons. Firstly his company PNC is in the midst of a Rs 250 crore deal with Sony Pictures for making three films. Secondly, Nandy apologised to Amitabh Bachchan(through his column in Bombay Times) for writing the superstar off when Bachchan was in the dumps in the 1990s. The Nandy-edited Illustrated Weekly of India's cover screamed 'Finished'. Bachchan in his recent ripose to Anurag Basu quipped that once a magazine proclaimed he was 'Finished' only to promptly shut shop itself.

A little bird at Jalsa tells me that the above two reasons of Nandy being in the news is not coincidence. Nandy wants to produce a film directed by his son Kushan that features AB. Big B is most likely to give his nod. And the film, halleluja, will be produced by Sony.

Nandy and Bachchan working together does not surprise me. What is more interesting is Nandy Senior and Junior working together. Kushan had earlier made 88 Antop Hill (a thriller) and Hum Dum (a film about a reality show). Both films were produced byKushan and his friend Kiran Shroff (niece of distributor Shringar Film's Shyam Shroff), not by PNC. Both of them flopped. Father and son were not exactly buddies.

But then age does mellow prickly egos and makes all of us forgiving, doesn't it?

What makes SRK King Khan?

In an interesting article in the Sunday Express, Sandipan Deb has tried to answer why Shah Rukh Khan is King of Bollywood. He points out four reasons.

Firstly, in every film of his, you can make out that Khan is doing his best to entertain you. He does enter the role; he uses it to appeal to the viewer directly.

Secondly, Khan comes across--and makes sure that he does--as an ordinary guy. For proof check him and Amitabh Bacchan out in KBC.

Thirdly, he does not take himself seriously (in private he must be, but he's built a persona otherwise).

And lastly, SRK is non threatening. If your sister brought him home, you would instantly make him your drinking buddy. This is a rare trait that the man has, and has nurtured carefully.

To all this SRK brings a unqiue awareness that he is brand--just like Aamir Khan does. Which is why he keeps stoking his image efficiently.

Interesting analysis, eh? Now for fun just put each of the four attributes to a Hritik, Abhishek, Amitabh, Aamir, Salman, Akshay or Saif. How do they score?

How to make news...and deny it.

The easiest way to make headlines in Bollywood today is to announce a topical film with a star... even if the star has not heard of you or given the approval for the project.

Bangladesh journalist Abdul Ghaffar Choudhary grabbed his 15 seconds of fame when he announced producing The Poet of Politics, a biopic on Bangaldesh founding leader Sheikh Mujibur Rahman. Amitabh Bachchan would be playing the role of older Rahman, Abhishek would be playing the younger Rahman, Ashwariya Rai and Shabana Azmi would be playing interesting roles and the film would be directed by Shyam Benegal. Oh, yeah? Well, Bachchan has rubbished the rumours. And Choudhary has got his headlines.

Ditto with Prabhakar Shukla who says he is making a film on the life of murdered British tourist Scarlett Keeling with Katrina Kaif. You can be sure of Katrina asking, "Shukla who"? Meanwhile, Fiona McKeon, Scarlett's mom, thinks the film idea is a "mockery" .

But Shukla, who made Kahani Gudiya Ki, has successfully wormed his way into the British media .

Bhatt on butts

Was at Filmcity the other day, on the sets of Vishesh and Sony Films Raaz-2. Couldn't but help overhearing the irresistable Bhatt brothers reacting to a crew members quip about sexy Kareena in Tashan.

Mahesh and Mukesh think that YRF is the true inheritor of RK Films in its single mindedness to undress top-of-the-lines heroines. " People think we at make adult films because Emraan kisses his heroines on screen. But we are upfront about it and have no qualms in getting an A or a UA certificate. But look at what Yash Raj has done in the name of family entertainment? Tanisha was in an underwear and bra throughout in Neal 'N Nikki. Aishwariya Rai wore skimpy clothes in Dhoom 2 all under the name of fashion. Bipasha did a two-bit role to wear bikini in Dhoom2. And now Kareena Kapoor wore almost zero clothes to display her zero size figure in Tashan!, " the Bhatt brothers sarcastically remarked.

And finally when i was leaving, I heard this interesting nugget: whenever you hear the stars in a soon to be released film talking about their look and designer clothes, beware! It means the film has no story!

Genelia's second innings

You must be either lucky or persistent to make a successful comeback like Genelia D'Souza. Five years ago the Bandra girl and Ritesh Deshmukh made their debut with Tujhe Meri Kasam. The movie sank. She then did Masti --the movie rocketed Ritesh into fame but Bollywood ignored Genelia. Miffed she went to the south and did tremendously well for herself in Telugu, Tamil and Kannada films. Bommarillu (Telugu) was her biggest hit and its recent Tamil remake, Santosh Subramaniam, is also faring well.

Now Genelia's second Bollywood innings is being chartered out with careful thought. Next month she she makes her appearance in the sure shot hit Aamir Khan Production's Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na in which Aamir's nephew Imraan Khan makes his debut. In June, Genelia is back with Priyadarshan's Mere Baap Pehle Aap co-starring with Akshaye Khanna and Paresh Rawal. She is also playing the lead opposite Harman Baweja in Anees Bazmi's untitled project for Sanjay Kapoor. And I hear, Genelia and her southern compatriot Asin are amongst the two top contenders for being cast as the main lead in Vipul Shah's big ticket London Dreams. Not bad, eh?

Is YRF going the Factory way?

What's ailing Yash Raj Films? Critics and audiences are panning their latest release, Tashan. The film is high on hype and style but pathetically low on substance. Just like Jhoom Barabar Jhoom, Ta Ra Rum Pum, Laaga Chuneri Mein Daag and Aaja Nachley was.

YRF has access to the biggest stars. They have tons of money (which is why Yash & Aditya Chopra have refused private equity from Mukesh Ambani and investment bankers) . So then what is the problem?

If people who have worked with YRF are to be believed, the trouble lies solely with Aditya Chopra. He seems to have lost focus and objectivity. He is making movies like Ram Gopal Varma used to do during his infamous Factory days--sometimes based on a single USP (lets make a film showcasing Madhuri's return to India) or a promo (Amitabh Bachcan singing in a Johnny Depp costume in JBJ) or an idea (lets do a contemporary version of Aaina as LCMD). The bunch of writers that YRF has, save Jaideep Sahni, are too much in awe of Adi to suggest anything otherwise.

If you look at what's on the rest of YRF menu this year, there's no hope. Kunal Kohli's Thoda Pyar Thoda Magic, Sidharth Anand's Bachna Ai Haseeno offer only deja vu and nothing new. Roadside Romeo may work 'cos of its animation novelty factor. I pray Chopra's own Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi is not Cheeni Kum meets DDLJ.

Another reason for Chopra's loss of objectivity is the influence of Rani Mukherjee. Ram Gopal Varma made many films in the Factory that defied explanation. They were purely meant as ode to Antara Mali (Mr Ya Mrs) or Nisha Kothari (Go).

Is Rani Mukherjee Aditya Chopra's Antara Mali?

Vipul Shah's Bollywood record

Film-maker Vipul Amrutlal Shah is following the footsteps of his icon Dhirubhai Ambani, especially with regard to the profit mantra: Whatever you do, make it the biggest. Shah is not the one to bask in the glory of the tremendous industry response to his latest production, the Anees Bazmi-directed Singh is Kinng (whose distribution rights have been bought by The Indian Film Co for Rs 70 crore).

For his new venture London Dreams which Shah himself is directing, he has fixed a sale price of Rs 150 crore! While Sandeep Bhargava of IFC is choking on his coffee, newcomers Fox Films and Warner Brothers are rolling up their sleeves to sit across the table with Shah. What makes the deal alll the more lucrative for Shah is that unlike in Singh Is Kinng where he had to share sizeable profits with Akshay Kumar, he doesn't have to do so with Salman Khan and Ajay Devgan in London Dreams.

Shah is also going full throttle with his production plans to make big, medium and small budget films. He has signed up David Dhawan, Sanjay Khanduri (of Ek Chaalis Ki Last Local), and Pranali Shukla (wife of actor-director Saurabh Shukla) respectively.

Finally a name!

Thoda Pyar Thoda Magic. Yup that's, finally, the title for Kunal Kohli's film. The director's film, co-produced by Yash Raj Films, had been so far struggling to find an apt title. Mary Poppins, which serves as the inspiration for the film starring Saif Ali Khan, Rani Mukherjee and a bunch of kids, could hardly be an Indian title? So for a long time the film was just called Kunal Kohli Production No 1. Saif quipped that it was a nice way for Kunal to let people know that he was into production too.

But getting a name may hardly be the end of troubles for TPTM. Multiplex owner are not very enthusiatic about the film. They are not willing to share with YRF 50 and 45 per of revenues in the first two weeks respectively. Can't blame them considering that the last YRF film with Saif, Rani and a bunch of kids Ta Ra Rum Pum was a disaster at the box office.

Hritik-Bhansali team up?

Sanjay Leela Bhansali is going to do a film with Hritik Roshan. Both of them have been wanting to work with each other. Bhansali has two projects whose scripts have already been developed--Bajirao Mastani and Heera Mandi. The former is a film Bhansali wanted to do with Salman Khan and Ashwariya/Kareena but is now unsure of because it would be in the same genre as Jodha Akbar.

My source tells me Bhansali is keen to do Heera Mandi but trouble is Mahesh Bhatt is also planning a film on the same subject (Heera Mandi was a famous whorehouse in Lahore visited by top rung artistes, actors, and government officials).

Hritik is one of the few people who loved Saawairya because he paid heed to Rani Mukherjee's opening voice over in the film that "this story is not of this world", that the film is a fantasy. He admires Bhansali and has so much faith in him as a film maker that he is willing to say yes to a project even without reading a script.

But considering that Hritik starts shooting Anurag Basu's Kites next month and plans to start on the Krrish sequel later this year, the Bhansali project is unlikely to take off by year end.

Ek Kahaani

If Sanjay Gupta wants an original story he should just take a look at Neha Oberoi again. Gupta's White Feather Films is all set to release Woodstock Villa next month. The film directed by Hansal Mehta (who is also the CEO of White Feather Films) is to launch Sikander Kher and Neha.

Neha's father Dharam Oberoi and Sanjay Dutt are chaddi yaars, who know each other for many years. As we all know Sanjay Gupta joined the gang too and the three were thick friends (they were also board members of White Feather Films) till they fell out last year.

A little bird tells me that one of main reasons Dutt and Gupta fell out was because Oberoi spilled the beans and informed Baba of the financial dealings at White Feather. Gupta sacked Oberoi(Oberoi claims he quit). Some months later Dutt to publicly distanced himself from Gupta. Today Oberoi is the CEO of Sanjay Dutt Productions.

So what has all this to do with Neha Oberoi?

Consider this. You are being launched by a man who hates your father. Isn't that more original than any film story Gupta has directed so far?

Santoshi stories

In Bollywood you have to be a wonderful storyteller if you want to make a film. How well you narrate the story to a star often decides whether you can get him or her. If you were to do a poll amongst directors Raj Kumar Santoshi would be amongst the best narrators... now you know why he announces more projects than he actually makes them!

One apocryphal Santoshi incident is the manner in which he narrated the Khaaki role to Tushar Kapoor. When Tushar left Santoshi's office his chest was puffed up. He believed he was the hero of the film. His heart sank when he saw the trial show---but the role is still one of his best. Ashwariya Rai too was maha-thrilled when she heard the narration; but all that evaporated a couple of days into the shooting. Like the rest of her parivaar, she avoids working with Santoshi now.

A friend of mine who once worked with Santoshi says the director's stamina for narration is amazing. He once saw him narrate to an actor for two hours, hop in his vehicle and narrate another film to another actor for almost an hour on his mobile, and reach his office and narrate yet film to another actor!

But my favourite Santoshi story is of the storyteller at the recieving end. When he announced the Legend of Bhagat Singh, Piyush Mishra a well known theatre actor and writer (who has also acted in Dil Se, Maqbool and Jhoom Barabar Jhoom) was furious. Piyush, who knew Santoshi well, had written a play on Bhagat Singh and had heard he was not getting writing credits. So he had a couple of drinks, barged into Santoshi's home, poured kerosene on himself from his rum bottle and threatened to light himself.

It was the best narration Santoshi got. He promptly gave Piyush the writer's credit.

Phoonk De, RGV

Ram Gopal Varma is an enigma wrapped in a riddle. For a man who has given 10 flops after his last hit Sarkar, you would expect him to be doubly careful of not repeating his mistakes. After all, if you see the trailer of Sarkar Raj and listen to industry reports, he has struck gold once again! But trust Ramu to repeat his mistakes. He is adamant on making quickies.

He has wrapped up Contract which a source tells me looks like a poor man's version of Company. He is currently shooting Phoonk at Filmcity. It's a horror film about black magic and features newcomers Amruta Subash (a Marathi stage actor), Sudeep (Kannada actor), Lilette Dubey and Zakir Hussain . For the first time RGV is working with a woman cinematographer - Savita Singh, a fresh graduate from the FTII.

Both these films are likely to erode RGV's market value. So why does the eccentric director commit harakiri? "In the morning if I get very excited by an idea, I want to finish making the film by the night. I don't want to wait for stars and their dates!" Ramu once said.

Now if only the audience were excited too.

Why Ramadoss loves our stars

"Actors eat chips and get heart attacks." Health Minister Anmbumani Ramadoss knows exactly what he is doing when he took a shot at Saif Ali Khan and the junk food manufacturers. By taking digs at well -known film stars for public issues the minister is only proving how well he has learnt the art of making news from his father, the late Dr S Ramadoss.

Ramadoss Senior had founded the PMK party in Tamil with the Vanniar community forming his main support base. When there were rumours that Rajnikanth was to join politics, Ramadoss Sr decided to make everybody take notice of him. Just a couple of days before Rajnikanth's film Baba was to hit the theatres in 2002, Ramadoss asked his supporters and the media, "One actor here has made crores and crores in Tamil cinema. What has he given to the state in return?" Interesting, isn't it, that six years later it is exactly the question Raj Thackeray has raised about Amitabh Bachchan.

Ramadoss has already taken on Shahrukh Khan and Amitabh Bachchan over the issue of smoking in films and in public respectively. Whether you agree or not with the Health Minister, this much we should grant him. He does know how to garner TRPs for public issues and himself!

Just desserts for Roshan

The best place to get gossip in Bollywood is from spot boys, make up artists and the technical crew. As soon as news of the Roshans doling out Rs 2 crore to Ram Sampath for the Krazzy4 song came in, the unanimous declaration in Filmcity was that God indeed exists! After all, the tight fisted Rakesh Roshan had to pay up.

Here are just three of Roshan's famous miserly acts. During the filming of Koil Mil Gaya he ate bread butter sandwich for almost 30 days at a stretch. It goes without the saying that the rest of the suffering crew also had to eat variations of the sandwich for the entire period.

During Krrish the Hongkong team of stunt choreaographer Siu Tung Shing were budgeted for special mountaineering boots, winterwear and a ready supply of diet colas. The Indian technical crew had to manage with their own Mumbai wear. And yes they were served only chai or nimbu paani.

At the end of the Krrish schedule in Singapore, Roshan decided to treat his cast to a special dinner. Actors found themselves arriving at a cheap diner joint. Hritik arrived, shook his disapprovingly about dad being the eternal miser, and took the cast to a different restaurant.

Yashraj's next hot one?

Was at the Yashraj canteen the other day. A bunch of proud assitant directors were having cappuccino and chuckling about how YRF manages to make even the top most heroines wear skimpy or revealing clothes and do item numbers-- Ashwariya in Bunty Aur Babli and Dhoom2, Bipasha in Dhoom2, and now Kareena in Tashan.

But the buzz around the table was unanimous on who would be the next hot thing. It is going to be Sherlyn Chopra. Though the lady is in no way related to the bosses, Yash Chopra it seems sees a lot of promise in her especially after her, gulp, performance in Vinod Pande's dud Red Swastik. And that is why she has been pencilled for a sizeable role in a YRF project to be directed by Anurag Singh featuring Shahid Kapoor and Rani Mukherji.

Sherlyn, who used to be called Mona earlier, in her resume has titled herself the "Queen of Internet" with maximum maximum no of clicks and downloads. The boys at YRF are working hard to change her image to an "upmarket hot girl." As one of them quipped, "All it needs for Sherlyn is to be part of one hit Yash Raj film. She can be the next Katrina Kaif or Mallika Sherawat."

Oh, boy.

RK banner wakes up

Its finally happening. The once prestigious RK banner, launched by Raj Kapoor, is coming out of its hibernation. Almost ten years after the disastrous Aa Ab Laut Chalen (directed by Rishi Kapoor, featuring Akshaye Khanna, Ashwariya Rai and Rajesh Khanna), the Kapoor khandaan is now getting its act together.

A little bird from Chembur tells me that the film, likely to go on the floor later this year, will feature Rishi and Ranbir Kapoor and Deepika also. Kapoor Senior had come across a story which excited him. When Ranbir heard the narration he loved it too. A few days ago the board members of RK Films unofficially gave their approval to produce it. A director has to be yet found.

This would be the first of the two RK films to roll. Randhir Kapoor is also drawing up plans to launch a film starring daughter Kareena. But his script is not yet ready.

Bollywood loves piracy

All this talk about piracy being a threat to Bollywood is hogwash. It strives on it.

Let me explain. What is piracy? It is making copies of the original material and selling them illegally, right? And what are producers, directors and music directors in Bollywood doing?

Abbas Mastan's Race, like almost all his previous films, is a Hollywood rip off (remember: the word rip is also used to copy CDs/DVDs). Shaurya rips off A Few Good Men (and the makers have the gall to carry a full page ad claiming good reviews). There is an old play called Mera Dost Bhootnath. U, Me Aur Hum rips off The Notebook. Priyadarshan copies films already made in Malayalam or Tamil. Last year's big hit Partner is the Bollywood version of The Hitch. David Dhawan's next is a copy of The Valet.... get the picture, don't you?

On the music front, Pritam who is considered to be the hottest music director rips off most of his chartbusters (check out the site http://www.itwofs.com/).

So why don't the biggies in Bollywood just shut up and say we love piracy! Why do the studios shed crocodile tears over the losses of their latest releases to piracy when their balance sheet actually benefits from it?

Aamir's Delhi Belly

Aamir Khan's ability to run into troubled waters with his directors continues. While news of how he and Abbas Tyrewalla are locking horns over the edit of Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na is now floating about, the latest is that his other project Delhi Belly which was to start shoot in May has now been postponed to August.

Aamir himself had mentioned that Delhi Belly was to be directed by Robert Nylund, a young chap from Sweden. The casting of the film which features mostly newcomers and theatre actors is almost complete. A birdie from AK Production tells me that Nylund (poor chap would have a tough time anyway in Bollywood with such a name!) and Aamir have now parted ways. Aamir is yet to decide on who will direct the film.

Going by the Amol Gupte/Taare Zameen Par experience, will Aamir do it himself? Will it be Kiran Rao's debut? Or will it be some newcomer? Whoever it is should be ready to stomach Aamir more than a Delhi Belly.

Enter filmi fundamentalism

As the dates of the assembly and general elections approach nearer you will find politics playing an increasing part in creating fissures within the film industry. Karnataka goes to polls in May and that is why tempers have been lost over the Tamil Nadu's decision to go ahead with the Hogenakal water project. Which was fine until pro-Kannada supporters decide to stop screening of Tamil films in Karnataka. And now the Tamil film industry is retaliating with Rajnikanth also joining a protest fast.

The irony is that Rajnikanth is a Maharastrian brought up in Karnataka who became a super star in Tamil Nadu. Tamil Nadu's other icon MGR was born in Kerala. With politics increasingly rearing its head are we soon going to see days where a Kannada actor or technician cannot work on a Tamil film, a Tamil musician cannot compose for a Telegu flick, a Hyderabad studio will be banned from hosting a Malayalam crew....?

Elections will take place in Maharashtra by the year end. Should we be ready for Raj Thackeray's MNS ranting about why people from Bihar and UP should not be allowed to work in Bollywood? Will theatres get ransacked in Nashik and Ranchi?

I hope not. The film industry should clearly see that politicians will play the villain. And it should start doing its homework right away to to see that it is not taken for a ride.

Is Naseer right?

Love him or hate him. But you can't ignore what Naseerudin Shah, one of our finest actors, has to say. Take, for instance, these gems from an interview to DNA.

"I’m utterly bored of acting. I’ve completely given up hope about a decent film being made in the film industry. I don’t think Chak De India or Taare Zameen Par are great films. They are average. We are light years way from international standards. See a film like The Lives of Others and we send a film like Black to compete with it at the Oscars.

We should be ashamed of ourselves. It’s like the famous story of the late Sohrab Modi (I don’t mean to run him down, he was a great filmmaker). He got a German cameraman to shoot his film Jhansi Ki Rani with an army of 10,000 people. He turned around to the cameraman and asked, ‘What do you think of the spectacle?’ He replied, ‘The spectacle is all fine but where is the drama?’

Armed forces: a taboo topic

I have my fingers crossed about Shaurya. Recent Bollywood films about armed forces have been pathetic. They are either jingoistic like Border or a pain in the ass like Ab Tumhare Hawale Watan Saathiyon. The only films I have liked are Chetan Anand's Haqeeqat, Gulzar's Achaanak, and Nana Patekar's Prahaar.

Our film makers mistakenly think that making films critical of our armed forces will be an unpatriotic thing to do. The other problem is that our censors are myopic. Can you think of a Bollywood film that would tackle an issue of how soldiers become inhuman after prolonged military operations (I personally know of friends who have become social misfits after their anti-insurgency stint in J&K), like Paul Haggis' showcased In the Valley of Elah? Ridley Scott's American Gangster showed how the army was used as a conduit to ship in drugs. Will the censors have the courage and wisdom to pass a similar Bollywood film?

Samar Khan's Shaurya is supposed to be a desi version of A Few Good Men. I hope it is a sensible film and nothing like Khan's disastrous Kuch Meetha Ho Jaye.

When Tanushree said Na, Na

Between Tanushree Dutta's claim that Nana Patekar passed some lewd comments and attempted to touch her and Nana, director Rakesh Sarang and Producer Sami Siddique's refutals I would tend to go with the woman's version. Nana is capable of, and has often during film shootings, passed lewd comments when he is irritated. He passes them against both male and female actors and crew members-- you can't always shrug it off saying "it's Nana's character and he doesnt mean it". In these politically correct times you should know to restrain yourself.

During the dance rehearsal Nana would have touched Tanushree in order to show how the item number could be made more "sexy". And I am sure choreographer Ganesh Acharya and director Rakesh Narang would have nodded their heads in approval. It's just that Tanushree did not agree with their input, felt humiliated and walked off.

Situations like this have happened many time in Bollywood and not just with Nana. At times like this you need a sensible head around to difuse the situation. The trouble at the shoot of Horn OK Please was that there was no one to sort out the issue. The makers thought it was a good controversy to call the press to cover. That publicity has thrown egg on everyone's faces, including the media's.

The police in such cases usually pays safe and the peacemaker. They will advise Tanushree to drop charges against Nana Patekar, who is politically well connected. The actress will drop hooliganism charges against the rampaging mob and producer Sami Sidique will not take the case to the IMPPA or Cine Artistes Association.

Meanwhile, item songs which are overtly meant to titillate will continue to be lapped up by all of us.

Storm brewing at Deols?

Dharmendra is having a tough time deciding who is "apne" and who is "paraye". All is not well in his large extended family. The trouble: the thespian is planning his will and there is a storm brewing over who will inherit his property. A little bird from his farmhouse at Panvel (on the outskirts of Mumbai) tells me that Dharmendra wants to set aside some property to his "second" family, comprising of Hema and her two daughters Esha and Ahaana. But this proposal is not going down well with the "first" family comprising of wife Prakash and sons Sunny and Bobby. The jewel in Dharmendra's will is the approx 500 acre worth of farm land at Panvel. There are plans to build a medical college and a resort all of which will yield hundreds of crores.

Sigh, a film story being played out in real life, isn't it?

Why Hritik is better than SRK...

If you can classify item numbers as hit and flop, then Shahrukh Khan's latest item number Break Free for the film Krazzy 4 is a flop. Hritik Roshan's version of the same song is a hit. Why? While the song is hardly catchy, SRK's dancing steps and the choreography was not good enough to stop you from switching channels. Hritik dances better--so even though he danced to the same lousy tune, you can bet that school children will soon imitate his moves.

So then why did SRK agree to do the item song? Was he sold a lemon by Roshan Sr saying that since Hritik was injured he couldnt dance and so could SRK please bail out the promotions of Krazzy 4 with an item number? Or was SRK aware that both of them would be doing an item song and commited harakiri only because it was one way to be in the news before the IPL took off?

I think it is the latter. In the coming months till the IPL finals are over you will see SRK doing everything to be in the news.

What makes a hit film?

At the Ficci Frames conference, three generation of film makers had an interesting take on what makes a film work.

Ramesh Sippy of Sholay feels that there is no such thing as an ideal film. "When you make a film, too many people decide what is right or wrong. But a good film maker is one who keeps his own counsel and does what he thinks is right."

Vidhu Vinod Chopra of the recent Eklavya says what counts is the film makers passion and self belief. "The truth is that even after seeing a film it is not always possible to predict how it will do at the box office. For example, Sholay and Munna Bhai."

Shimit Amin who made Chak De feels that "There has to be something crazy in the film maker. It is an endless game, but so long as there is passion to keep trying and be innovative, we, as film makers, will derive satisfaction."

But hold on to your horses if you think passion alone makes a good film. I am sure Ram Gopal Varma, Subhash Ghai and Suneel Darshan were all passionate about Aag, Kisna and Shakalaka Boom Boom.

So is it then a good story that makes a hit film? If so how do you explain the non success of Dor or the success of Heyyy Baby! Maybe if Dor had stars it would have been a blockbuster. But then how did Laga Chunari Mein Daag flop?

The fact is nobody knows what will work or flop.

Signing spree

The desperate demand in Bollywood to sign up directors is amusing. Remember Tigmanshu Dhulia who made an impressive debut in 2003 with Haasil and then followed it with an average Charas in 2004? Well, Dhulia has been struggling for the past five years to make a film. Poor guy started on a periodic film with Sunny Deol that remained incomplete because the producer went bust. He then started and almost finished Shagird with Nana Patekar and Mohit Alawat-- but is waiting for Nana to recover from his fractured leg!

These days Dhulia is on a signing spree. He has signed not one but about eight films! They include deals with Balaji Telefilms, Vinay Sinha- Studio-18, Neeraj Pathak, UTV Spotboy, Zee Motion Picture and Vijeta (Sunny Deol's banner).

The funny thing is every producer thinks Dhulia will be starting their film asap.

Stars yes but actors?

Dropped in the sets of Rakyesh Omprakash Mehra's Dilli 6 in Mumbai the other day and saw the difference between stars and actors. Mehra as a director follows a Hollywood style of film-making. He, accompanied by cinematographer Binod Pradhan, first watches the actors rehearse, then their moves are blocked, the area lighted up, and only then does he call out for Sound, Camera and Action.

For most stage and professional actors this is a welcome procedure. And on the sets you can see how actors like Om Puri, Waheeda Rahman, Atul Kulkarni, Pavan Malhotra and Raghuvir Yadav put in wonderful performances.

But for the new lot of undisciplined actors such as Abhishek Bachchan and even Sonam Kapoor all this means extra hard work and is a "waste of time" These stars are used to walking out from the make up van and strutting back to its comfort after "delivering" their lines.

Sigh. Is it any wonder then our stars make such poor actors?

An Indian Anthony Minghella?

The death of the talented Anthony Minghella reminds me of two of his unique qualities that we in Bollywood could well do with. The first is his ability to read a book, spot a film, and adapt a screenplay around it. The English Patient (Michael Ondaatje), Cold Mountain (Charles Frazier), The Talented Mr Ripley (Patricia Highsmith), and the unfinished The No1 Ladies Detective Agency (Alexander McCall Smith) are good examples of his craft. How many contemporary B'wood directors are able to do that? I believe Ashutosh Gowarker loved Kiran Nagrekar's The Cuckold and used some elements of it in Jodha Akbar.

The other amazing quality that Minghella had was to start a production company, Mirage, with Sydney Pollack. Together they have laucnhed films like Iris, The Quiet American, The Interpreter, Breaking and Entering, Michael Clayton....

Can you think of our Bollywood directors with their huge egos teaming up to produce some good films? Mani Ratnam, Shekar Kapur and Ram Gopal Varma tried it once with their India Talkies that produced Dil Se. They couldn't work together ever again.

Is Race another Cash?

Abbas Mastan's Race could be the defining straw that will decide the fate of Bollywood's first quarter results . Everybody desperately wants a hit (Jodhaa Akbar is the lone one) and are praying that Race will be it. The duo's last film Naqaab was a dud; earlier, 36 China Town was hardly an exciting film but still managed to be an average earner.

Everybody says that promos of Race look slick and that the film has a good cast. So did Anubhav Sinha's Cash. It had lots of style and had lousy content.

But whatever be the fate of the film, Abbas Mustan need not worry. Eros has invested heavily in a co-production deal with them where they will be producing films with other directors like Rumi Jaffrey. Meanwhile, Reliance's Big Motion Pictures, Studio 18 and UTVare desperately trying to woo them for directorial projects. The only problem Abbas Mastan have with the corporate honchos is that they don't speak English!

Gems from Roshan Seth

Was channel surfing yesterday when I came across Roshan Seth on television. He is in Rajasthan filming for Disney's The Cheetah Girls- One World. Roshan is a fine actor-- remember him as Nehru in Gandhi and Bharat Ek Khoj, or from My Beautiful Laundrette and Such a Long Journey? He was last seen on Indian screen playing a minro role in Mani Ratnam's Guru.

Roshan is pissed off with Bollywood for its unprofessional attitude. This is what he had to say about two of India's best known directors.

On Yash Chopra: "He called me up and told me he wants me to be the father of the girl in Veer Zaara. When I asked for a script he asked why."

On Mani Ratnam: "He comes to the set, writes the scene in Tamil, then someone translates that in English and then that is translated in Hindi and then it was given to me."

Seth went on to add that he walked out of Rang De Basanti, and Mangal Pandey.

Isn't it nice to see someobody shout that the emperor is wearing no clothes?

'Abs'olute trash

The six/eight pack abs media hype is driving me nuts. When will we see a day when an actor is written about for his or her acting prowess? Or a film is written about for its compelling story or entertainment? Does it really matter to us that Fardeen Khan is developing a six pack abs for his next film Acid Factory? Is he the next Rambo ?Or that Bipasha Basu has elongated her eyelashes like Rihana? Or how Kareena Kapoor, Akshay Kumar and Saif Ali Khan have gone blonde for Tashan?

I shudder thinking of the day when I will be reading about an actor who has a mole in his ass.

Kashmir Singh = Veer Zara?

Yash Chopra must be chuckling as he watches TV. The news channel are crying hoarse covering the return of Kashmir Singh (imagine the newspaper headlines: Pak returns Kashmir to India!). Singh spent 35 years on death row in Pakistan accused of espionage. Last week President Musharraf pardoned him.

If you take out the pretty girls and Bachchan playing hockey, Kashmir Singh's story is so similar to Chopra's last directorial venture, Veer Zara, isn't it? But it's not a case of real life imitating reel life. The release of PoWs, both by India and Pakistan, has been going on for many years now.

If you keep aside Veer Zara (no Yash Raj Film starring Shahrukh Khan has ever failed), when was the last time you saw a film based on a real event doing well at the box office? Parzania, Black Friday were all critically acclaimed but commercial failures. Halla Bol failed on both counts.

Is it because we are so used to seeing "live" reality events on TV that we don't want to see an adaptation on cinema screens?

Or is it because there are no good film makers who can dramatise an event and tell an engaging story?

Spineless industry

It is disgusting to see how spineless the film industry's representative bodies are. On Sunday a group of film personalities, most of them from the Marathi film industry, carried out a signature campaign initiated by the Maharashtra Navnirman Sena. Their grouse: remove the court gag order on Raj Thackeray that prevents him from make inflamatory speeches or statements. The signatories include Nana Patekar, Shreyas Talpade, Sajid Nadiadwala, Sajid Khan amongst others.

What irritates me is not this campaign. It is the shameless silence on the part of the Film Producers Guild of India, the Film Federation of India, the Association of Motion Picture Producers and Television Programme (AMPTPP), Indian Motion Pictures Producers Association, the Indian Film And Television Directors Association, and all other workers federations and association. What the hell are they doing when a film made by their colleagues gets banned in Rajasthan, UP and Punjab?

Why hasn't the industry united to raise its voice against the Jodha Akbar ban by people who have not seen the film?

Is it because many people in the industry want to see the makers of Jodha Akbar bite the dust?

Is it because Raj Thackeray has more clout in the industry?

Is it because Hritik Roshan lacks the political conviction of an Aamir Khan?

Fox and Turner in Bollywood

All those who thought that the Sony Pictures Sawariya's disappointing show in the Indian box office would put off foreign film companies from opening shop in India are wrong. The latest to jump on the Bollywood bandwagon are Fox and Turner.

Fox, many moons ago was to coproduce with Ram Gopal Varma, the Sriram Raghavan directed Ek Haseena Thi but pulled out l. Two years ago it entered into a deal with UTV to co-produce Mira Nair's The Namesake and I Think I Love My Wife starring Chris Rock. Now the company has opened an independent office in India headed by Vijay Singh (formerly of Sony-BMG Music).

Turner, which has a joint venture in India with Miditech to launch a TV channel, is also setting an independent film production company. They are still trying to put a team and want to primarily focus on animation films.

Both foreign firms are facing the same hurdle. Almost all stars and A grade directors have been signed up and are unavailable for almost two years. So what will these companies do in the meanwhile? My guess is they will join the trader bandwagon-- buy and sell completed films. So don't be surprised to hear Indian actors and directors pocketing fatter fees. The days of a regular Rs 100 crore film is just around the corner.

Sujatha's legacy

If you are an Indian chances are your life would have been touched by Sujatha's work--both official and unofficial. Let me explain.

Sujata was one of the finest dialogue writers in India. Sadly, he passed away last night in Chennai.

He has written over 100 novels, 200 short stories, scores of essays and articles. He has also contributed to almost 15 film stories and dialogues and was a favourite of Mani Rathnam and Shankar. Sujatha's USP was that his dialogues were very "unfilmy"-- they were more like ordinary conversations, making characters and subjects more believable. Films he had contributed include Indian (Shankar), Dil Se (Mani Rathnam), Kandukondein Kandukondein (Rajiv Menon), Kannathil Muttamithal (Mani Rathnam), Boys (Shankar), Ayitha Ezhuthu (Mani Rathnam made also as Yuva), Anniyan (Shankar), Saravana (K S Ravikumar), Sivaji (Shankar, featuring Rajnikanth), Bheema (featuring Vikram) and Dasavatharam (featuring Kamal Hassan). Know you know why Shankar's film were blockbusters!

Sujatha's real name was S Rangarajan. Since government of India regulations forbid an employee to freelance, he used to write under his wife's name. Incidentally, he headed the R&D cell at Bharat Electronics Ltd,and developed the Electric Voting Machine... truly a Renaissance man!

Anil Kapoor hosts KBC

You read it here first. Anil Kapoor is following the footsteps of Amitabh Bachchan and Shahrukh Khan. He is going to host the fourth season of Kaun Banega Crorepati, which Star Plus will air after they are done with the first season of SRK hosting Kya Aap Panchvi Pass Se Tez Hai?

Kapoor's move is a wonderful case of brand association. He is currently shooting for Danny Boyle's Slumdog Millionaire where he plays the role of the KBC host too! When Kapoor starts quizzing on TV here, you will also see Boyle's film being international released. Smart, eh?

A little bird hovering at Kapoor's Juhu bungalow tells me that Kapoor who had shunned TV and commercials has had a change of heart. He will be soon making his first TV commercial appearance alongwith his daughter Sonam. On the film front, he has two releases this year: Subash Ghai's Black or White in a March and then Ghai's Yuvraaj for Diwali. Kapoor is also producing a film called Short Cut slated to release this year.

The Vada Pao Question

Just like the IPL cricketers auction, why don't we have an auction in Bollywood for stars, directors, and actors (people who can act but no one wants to pay for)? After all, there are only about 8 male stars, 5 female stars, 8 "star" directors, and about 10 decent actors-- and we have a demand for at least 100 Hindi films to be made in a year (not counting the B grade flicks). There is already an unofficial auction going around in the industry. Why not make it transparent and fair?

Ashutosh's Akbar

I am getting irritated by people who after seeing Jodhaa Akbar complain,"Oh, why was there nothing shown about Akbar's navaratnas? Or his unique Deen-E-ilahi religion? Or his other wives?" A film-maker makes a film that he or she wants to make. How can anyone tell him what to make or how to make it? You can either watch it or ignore it. You can, and should, have opinions about the film...

Anyway, for those persisting with the above complaints, Ashutosh Gowariker has an interesting take. Jodhaa Akbar was about Akbar's growing up years and his relationship with Jodhaa. The Navaratnas (and Birbal) were formed when Akbar was around 40 years. And the Deen-E-Ilahi when he was 55. As for tales of other wives, sigh, what is the film called?

Padma's chant

Two girls, successful actors from South India, are these days creating a flutter in Bollywood. The first is Asin who is paired with Aamir Khan in Ghazini which releases this year end. The second is Padmapriya, who makes her Hindi debut with Striker, a Chandan Arora film featuring Siddharth(of Rang De Basanti fame).

Rani Mukherji, Preity Zinta, Sushmita Sen, Tabu, and to some degree even Ashwariya Rai are suffering a fate similar to that of Rahul Dravid, Saurav Gangul and VVS Laxman-- they are considered passe' by the current lot of film makers.

While Asin is enjoying being cast in the young actress mould competing with Deepika Padukone and Sonam Kapoor, Padmapriya (who speaks Hindi fluently and was a former risk consultant with GE) is drawing up a shrewd strategy. She is trying to pitch herself as a glamourous heroine who can act-- that means competing for the slot serviced by Priyanka Chopra and Kareena Kapoor. Padma doesnt want to essay the roles that had won her acclaim in the south: like the one she did in Pattiyal or Cheran's Thavamai Thavamirunthu.

I think its an unwise move. What Bollywood needs is a fine actor who can fill up the shoes of a Kajol or a Rani Mukherji!

The Vada Pao Question

Why can't multiplex owners, distributors and producers agree on a fixed revenue sharing rate which can be revised every year? Why do they get greedy everytime a big film comes up for release and cause the public hardship? Maybe like the BCCI which grades players differently, why not have a different revenue models for big banner films, indie films, regional films, etc?

When SRK was sure...

A friend who is working on one of Yash Raj Films' project had this interesting anecdote to share. When Shahrukh Khan was shooting Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge, he often complained it was a mistake. SRK cribbed that the story was awful and the debutantt director(Aditya Chopra) had no clue. SRK was doing the film only because Yash Chopra had asked him to.

Ten years later, it was a ditto experience for SRK. He reiterated to his friends that Chak De was a disaster, that the director (Shimit Amin) had no clue, and that he was doing it only because of his association with YRF.

We know how both films turned out to be and how they are amongst SRK's best films.

Moral: Even "intelligent" actors have no clue as to what is a good story or who is a good director till the box office says so.

Writers end actors insecurity

Now that the Writers' strike has ended in Hollywood, some Indian actors are heaving a sigh of relief. John Abraham, unemployed 'cos his films with Deepa Mehta and Sriram Raghavan were postponed, will smile again. John was all to set to act in Mehta's quickie, Luna, with Rachel Weisz and Dustin Hoffman--but the hacks in Hollywood spooked the production plans.

John and Amitabh Bachchan were also signed up for Mehta's more ambitious Exclusion. The film is a historical based on the 1914 Komagata Maru incident when hundreds of Indians were refused entry by the Canadian authorities and were literally left high and dry on the seas.

Bachchan's much touted Mira Nair film Shantaram with Johnny Depp has already been postponed to 2008 end 'cos of the Writers' strike. Exclusion may now be pushed to 2009.

Meanwhile, Irrfan Khan must also be breathing easier. He was waiting eagerly to hear from friend Brad Pitt whether there was a role for him in Oceans 14. Now that the writers are back in action, all of us will soon know.

Who cares for history?

Ashutosh Gowariker should thank his stars that Jodha Akbar is releasing this Valentine Day. It was meant to release last Diwali, then got pushed to Christmas, then to Jan 26. If at all the movie works it will but only as a romance. Audiences care two hoots if Gowariker has got the authenticity of the Mughal era correctly; that's for the historians to ponder. People definitely want a good love story and if Hritik Roshan and Ashwariya deliver on that count, the film will be paisa vasool.

Come to think of it who gives a shit about historicals? Mughal E Azam worked because it was a tragic love story. Lagaan because it was one man leading a group of innocent villagers to beat the British at cricket. Benhur and Gladiator because it was a story of a man betrayed, who wanted to avenge his family's death.

Hope Jodha Akbar does not turn out to be like Alexander and Kingdom of Heaven--both heavy on history and light on drama! I want to watch a movie not The History Channel.

Trend 2008: Malayalam stories, Hindi movies

A Malayali friend who dropped in for dinner last night tells me that the latest trend in Bollywood is to remake Malayalam films. In the 60s and 70s it was Tamil cinema being remade(led by SS Vasan). In the 80s and 90s it was Telugu films( from D Rama Naidu to Boney Kapoor). Now it's the turn of Malayam films.

Priydarshan is the man leading the Bollywood brigade. Of his 16-odd Hindi films, 14 are remakes of Malayalam films. He is now involved in the remake of Katha Paryumbol, a big hit featuring writer actor Sreenivasan and Mammooty. The film is being remade in Tamil as Kuselan, featuring Rajnikanth. Priyadarshan's film is going to feature Shahrukh Khan and is being produced by the star's Red Chillies Entertainment.

Another of last years hit, Chocolate, is being remade in Hindi by the Times of India's Mirchi Movies. The rights of Classmates is being actively wooed by Boney Kapoor and Rajkumar Santoshi. Anil Kapoor's next production (after Gandhi My Father) Short Cut is also a remake of a Malayalam film.

Aamir's top ten scripts

Aamir Khan in the Economic Times has mentioned his top 10 scripts. They are:

1. Mother India by S Ali Raza & Wajahat Mirza
2. Raiders of the Lost Ark by George Lucas & Philip Kaufman
3. Forrest Gump by Winston Groom & Eric Roth
4. The Sixth Sense by M Night Shyamalan
5. Rang De Basanti by Rensil D'Silva & Rakyesh Mehra
6. Stars Wars by George Lucas
7. Fried Green Tomatoes by Famie Flagg & Carol Sobieski
8. Usual Suspects by Christopher McQuarrie
9. Lagaan by Ashutosh Gowariker
10. Taare Zameen Par by Amol Gupte.

Interesting mix, isnt it? One of the writers of Mother India S Ali Raza passed away in January this year and there was hardly a murmur. And don't you think Sholay by Salim-Javed should have also been on the the list?

One for you, one for me

In Bollywood copyright usually means right to copy. And it is sad to see big stars and production companies indulging in it so blatantly. Sohail Khan Productions wants to remake Jerry Maguire with Salman(in Cuba Gooding's role) and Shahrukh Khan (doing a Tom Cruise). Enchanted is being currently remade by three diferrent companies. Sanjay Dutt's maiden production is planning to remake Ghostbusters with Sanjay, Salman Khan and Ritesh Deshmukh...

Apart from not wanting to pay, the reason why Bollywood is blatant ripping off Hollywood is because the copyright law is weak in India. If you can show your film to have 35 per cent of material different from the original, then you have an "original" creative work here. You don't have to be a genius to figure out how. Most Hollywood flicks are of 90-100 minutes duration; Indian films usually clock 150 mts... Last year Sony, the producers of Hitch, made some noise about taking K Sera Sera, the producer of Partner, to court. And then they dropped the idea.

Funnily, Indian film makers and the industry body FICCI, are now running to the government to change the copyright rules of old Indian films. According to the law, a movie loses copyright protection and falls in public domain after 60 years. This means that by 2010-12, you could remake classic like Arzoo, Awara, Baazi, Deedar,Aan and Baiju Bawra without any formal permission!

That would be sweet justice, isn't it?

The Vada Pao Question

Where have the film making companies gone? How many of India's listed film cos create a concept, develop the story, and attach the cast and crew to it? All producers are becoming traders now, buying and selling proposals.

SRK & Priyadarshan

The joke in B'wood was that in the time Shahrukh Khan takes to grow his ponytail or put on a 6 pack abs, director Priydarshan starts and finishes his film... so how could the two ever work together? Well, they are! SRK's Red Chillies is producing a film with Priyadarshan this year. The movie is supposed to feature a small cast but dont be surprised if SRK does a cameo or an item song-- to build the marketing hype.

The combo is sure to do wonders at the box office. In the last five years, Priyadarshan has churned out nine films--all of them (save for Kyon Ki which flopped and Chup Chup Ke which did average business) were hits! He is currently in the midst of shooting Mere Baap Pehle Aap with Akshaye Khanna and Paresh Rawal.

There were two actors Priyadarshan has been desperately wanting to work with-- SRK and Amitabh Bachchan. Looks like both his wishes will come true this year. A little bird tells me that Big B has also liked one of his scripts and is working out the dates.

Time for romance

While everyone is cheering lustily the return of Aditya Chopra, I'm not too kicked about it. Ya sure, I loved DDLJ and it is one of the best Bollywood romance flicks. But I think Mohabatein was crap. And Veer Zara (which Adi wrote) was lousy. Adi's Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi with SRK may be interesting if there is no Rani Mukherji or Priety Zinta... do you really want to see a romcom featuring them?

So what are the romantic flicks I am looking forward to? First, there is Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na which is writer Abbas Tyrewala's debut film. Tyrewala has a terrific sense of comedy, so this should be a good romcom. More importantly, the film is produced by Aamir Khan, so you can be assured of its "quality". Finally, Aamir's cousin, the reclusive and immensely talented Mansoor Khan, is the creative director! That combo has me salivating.

The other film I am eagerly looking forward to is Kismat Connection , featuring Shahid Kapoor and Vidya Balan. I love Aziz Mirza's feel good romances, even though they are not very original. Didn't you like Yes Boss and Chalte Chalte?

Patience pays

You've to hand it over to Sriram Raghavan. While every Johnny come lately in Bollywood wants to make a quick buck while the going is good, this chap is willing to bide time to further polish his skills. Take the case of Dreamgirl, his next project which stars Ashwariya Rai and John Abraham and is produced by Rohan Sippy He had the dates of his stars ready and was supposed to roll last week....but he was still not happy with the climax he and his brother Sridhar had written. So what does our man do? Start rewriting and push the shoot to November!

Of course, this hasn't pleased Sippy whose production house will have only one release this year, the Nikhil Advani directed Chandni Chowk to China Gate. Saif Ali Khan who was supposed to start shooting Agent Vinod with Raghavan will also be disappointed, since that project will now shift to mid-2009.

But Raghavan, who every production house wants to sign up, must be used to delays. It took eight years for him to make his first film (Ek Haseena Thi). And it took three years for Johny Gaddar. Both are movies to be proud of.

Namastey London Dreams

Rajkumar Santoshi, who is well-known for his penchant for announcing films and not completing them, is chewing his nails these days. Remember his desi tribute to Amadeus, the ambitious London Dreams starring Salman Khan and Ajay Devgan announced in 2006? Santoshi had even shot a sequence with two actors at the Golden Temple, Amritsar. Then Salman shaved off his head, went to jail, Devgan got busy, Santoshi announced more films.... and the poor producer PJ Singh was left twiddling his thumbs.

Now thanks to Salman's interest the film has been revived minus Santoshi and Devgan, and with some changes in the script. Vipul Shah is directing it with Salman and most probabaly Katrina and the film is expected to go on floors in June.

Shah has built an enviable reputation at the box office--Aanken did average business, Waqt and Namastey London were hits, and Singh is Kinng (directed by Anees Bazmi) has been sold for more than double its production cost.

After London Dreams, Shah will team up with buddy Akshay Kumar and start Action Replay by the year end.

Trends 2008: the VFX gamble

This year visual effects (VFX) is changing how movies are being made and stories being told in Bollywood. Three films, Aladdin, Drona and Love Story 2050 all set for release this year have set the ball rolling. VFX movies are different from animation films. In these films live action is integrated with computer imagery.

The making of Sujoy Ghosh's Aladdin, Goldie Behl's Drona and Harry Baweja's Love Story is already posing challenges. For starters, scenes can't be changed mid-shooting 'cos of the CGI work. Actors and crew have to spend more days shooting these films-- beween 100-150 days. That means they do lesser films in a year. More sets have to be constructed and used for larger amounts of time. And post production of these CGI intense films takes much more than the usual two months.

As a result VFX films are a costly gamble. Aladdin's budget is approx 45 cr, Love Story is 35 cr, and Drona, thanks to its numerous delays, is expected to cost almost 60 cr.

Now you know why Shankar's Robot starring Rajnikanth and Ashwariya is going to be the most expensive Indian film to be made with a budget of 100 crore! Eros International which is the producer of Alladin, Drona and Robot must surely have ants in its pants!

Ghai Vs Kukunoor

Subhash Ghai whose Mukta Arts produced Bombay to Bangkok is pissed with Nagesh Kukunoor because a) Nagesh was directing multiple films instead of concentrating on just one; ergo, his creativity flagged on B2B. b) Kukunoor tried comedy which is not his forte.

If the film had done reasonably well at the BO, I wonder what would have been Ghai's reaction. That Nagesh is great at multitasking (duh, does Mukta Art as a company suffer when Ghai directs a film?) and that he had earlier also made a successful comedy Hyderabad Blues?

Hmmm, this is the same Ghai who decided that shareholder's of Mukta Arts should be insulated against the failure of Iqbal which is why he produced it under the Mukta Searchlight banner.Of course, the moment Iqbal fared well it was quickly transferred to the Mukta Arts portfolio.

Trends 2008: Get ready for parkour!

This year action films is going to be one of the two dominating flavours in Bollywood (will write about the other flavour in my next blog). Films like Akshay Kumar's Tashan and Chandni Chowk to China, Aamir's Ghazni, and to a lesser degree Viveik Oberoi/Zayed Khan's Mission Istanbul--all of them will have action stunts as their USP.

If the Dhoom series and Cash was all about blowing up cars and bikes, it is parkour that will be the toast in 2008. Parkour in French means the art of displacement: it is the ability to move from one point to another as efficiently and quickly as possbile, using the human body. The best example of it in movies is the must watch film District B13 , Casino Royale (opening chase sequence) and to some extent Live Free or Die Hard (4.0). In India, the recently released Vikram's Bheema (Tamil) also had some nice parkour sequences.

If you know of any other good parkour action films write in.

Thought Bubble

Heath Ledger about how having a child changes life (New York Times)

“You’re forced into, kind of, respecting yourself more. You learn more about yourself through your child, I guess. I think you also look at death differently. It’s like a Catch-22: I feel good about dying now because I feel like I’m alive in her, you know, but at the same hand, you don’t want to die because you want to be around for the rest of her life.”

The Vada Pao Question

Why are producers or actors (forget NRI directors) so hesitant to sign up the current lot of Indian authors for a film deal? Is it because there are no good contemporary books that can be made into films? Or is it because producers and actorsdon't read books? Please dont give me an example of Chetan Bhagat's book being made byAtul Agnihotri...!

Mandira's Googly

India's victory in Australia has done wonders to many people. Here in Bollywood it may revive the fortune of a floundering film company and an even more floundering career of an actor. Remember Mandira Bedi, the one whose noodle strap blouses left a indelible impression in our minds rather than her expert comments on the game whenever it was telecast on Set Max?

Well Mandira's hubby, Raj Kaushal, thought if she was so popular why not make a film with wifey as a cricket fan who has the hots for Anil Kumble! PNC, who have announced more films than they have made and released, said yes promptly. The film, Meerabai Not Out, was made. And the first copy collected dust for two years. PNC thought they would release it after India's 20-20 World Cup victory but then there was no Kumble, and sadly no distributor too. Now that Kumble has done wonders Down Under, the film's hoardings have sprung up and it should be released next month. Wonderful as long as we don't see Kumble with noodle straps and Mandira bowling googlies.

Director's Cut

Guess who is Bollywood’s highest paid director? It is none other than Anees Bazmi who is being wooed with a Rs 15 crore cheque these days. Bazmi’s Welcome is a huge hit and trade circles acknowledge that it is far more profitable than SRK’s Om Shanti Om. In two weeks Welcome has grossed approx Rs 43 crore in India compared to OSO’s Rs 35 crore in 8 weeks.

The only problem signing up Bazmi today is that after 2005’s No Entry he had signed up for almost six films and, ahem, had even pocketed a hefty advance. But trust Bazmi to come up with a creative solution. He has invested the advance money smartly in real estate. Now that realty prices have doubled, he is coolly returning the advance money he had pocketed and renegotiating deals on his new found market rate!

Better Saif

If you have been wondering how Anurag Kashyap and Karan Johar (spitting venom till recently) have now made up, you must thank Saif Ali Khan for it. Chotte Nawab who has turned producer these days, had signed up Kashyap to revive his forsaken project Allwyn Kallicharan.

Kashyap’s pet project which had been dumped by Anil Kapoor many years ago will now be made starring Saif. Meanwhile, Saif and Kareena were approached by Karan Johar to star in Rensil D Silva’s new film. Saif said yes and also promptly recommended Kashyap for writing the dialogues, much to Rensil’s delight since the film has terrorism in its background. That’s what friends are for, hai na?

Meanwhile, 2008 seems to be wonderful year for Saif. Up for release are Abbas Mastan’s Race, YRF’s Tashan and Kunal Kohli’s romantic drama. He is also producing and starring in a romantic comedy directed by Imtiaz Ali with Deepika Padukone cast opposite him. You see, it’s not just chips Saif is munching these days.

The Vada Pao Question

Why can't a corporate do a Nano in Bollywood? Why can't you make a film for 1 cr (mktg and promotion costs extra, just like VAT for the Nano)? Remember Bheja Fry? Why cant you rope in the major cast and crew with sweat equity?

Pagli Aur Ugli

The joke in Bollywood is that if you dislike someone then ask him to make a film featuring Mallika Sherawat or Irrfan Khan. And if you really hate him, then ask him to make a film featuring both! Mallika is literally leaving a trail of broken purses rather than hearts in her trail. She recently walked out of a Studio 18 film to be directed by Kundan Shah (yup, the man who made Jaane Bhi Do Yaaron). She has also put on hold further shooting her of film Ugli Aur Pagli, produced by PNC.

Meanwhile, the list of incomplete Irrfan Khan films is also piling up Recently the actor walked out of the set of Right Ya Wrong, when he saw that the spotlight on a scene was more on Sunny Deol than him. With the buzz growing strong that friend Brad Pitt will rope him for Ocean’s 14, Khan is giving the heebie-jeebies to his producers. Sigh. Welcome to the world of crossover (pun intended) stars?

Some Chillies?

What do stars do when they have no films to shoot? If you are Shahrukh Khan you work on your business plans. SRK has no solo film releasing in 2008; he appears with a mere special appearance tag in producer Ravi Chopra’s Bhootnath and producer Vivek Vaswani’s Dulha Mil Gaya. Khan, the film directed by Karan Johar, will go on the floors late this year and will release in 2009.

So what is SRK busy with? Well, for starters, he has teamed up with investment bank Goldman Sachs and is drawing up a 1000 crore plan for owning BCCI’s Indian Premier League team, featuring friend Sachin Tendukar. Secondly SRK also is a stakeholder in friend Rajiv Shukla’s BAG Films soon to be launched lifestyle channel. And yes, he has also bid for the 500 crore Advertsiment Oasis, a digital amusement park floated by the Delhi municipal body. Don’t be surprised if SRK’s Red Chillies ties up with George Lucas’ special effects firm Industrial Light Magic soon for an Indian edition.